Gatekeeper

Call me Gatekeeper.

I am he, keeper of  bars that hold back violence incarnate.

I am he, guardian of the portal through which the assaulter hurls shrill and caustic forewarnings of barbarity.

I, and only I, have the power to conquer the evil-speaker and deny it rampage.

I am the last bastion.  I protect you from an insane malignity like no other.

Look upon the beast I hold captive; see the fiery orange eyes that will haunt you forever. 

Keep your distance, for I, and only I, am the keeper your safety, though not your sanity.

I am the Gatekeeper.

I hold the key to the parrot’s cage.

On the other hand, when Pablo’s in a good mood, he’s actually fun to have around.