“Hello, I'm an official greeter for Yosemite National Park. Welcome to the Park. We hope you enjoy your visit. I'm also a very friendly mallard duck. May I please have some bread?”
“Oh. Well, if I bring my babies by to visit, may I please have some bread?”
"Mrs. Mallard, you are indeed a deserving duck and you have a beautiful family, but there’s a problem with giving you bread.”
“You mean those stupid laws about feeding the wildlife? Pay them no mind.”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking about those laws, though they are a consideration here in this place with so many witnesses nearby. Actually, it’s the bread that’s the problem.”
“You see, Mrs. Mallard, our bread is AWOL. We can’t find it when we want it because all our foodstuffs are crammed into three bear boxes. You’ll note there was no bread on our sandwiches. We wrapped the filling in Romaine lettuce leaves. Our bread is definitely a big problem.”
I wasn’t kidding about the bread.