"I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose."--S.I. Hayakawa

Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Writing Prompt from Ann Linquist

My online writing instructor's latest prompt was to write about how we think we might die.  Nothing gloomy, was her caveat.  Be creative, have fun.   So I did.

Case No. 2012/4414

I arrived at the scene, 3489 Turnagain Road, at 0500 hours.  Trooper L. J. Patterson, Badge 546, answered a 911 call from a neighbor about an explosion and had secured the scene by the time of my arrival.  The Trooper advised me the home was owned and occupied by Gullible.  He gave me a brief summary of the scene, warning me it was a bad one.  I placed a dab of Vicks Vapo-Rub under my nose, donned booties and gloves, and entered the cabin.

The trooper was right.  It was one of the worst scenes of this type I’d ever seen.  At first glance, I thought it was a burglary because of the chaos, furniture and books tossed all over the room.  But there were human remains all over the keyboard and monitor, and numerous unidentified small black objects scattered around theroom.

On further investigation, I realized that the destruction was confined to one room only, that being the home office or study.

By the time the Medical Examiner arrived with the CSI team, I was pretty sure what the autopsy result would be.  After a cursory exam, the ME said, “My god, not another one.  Did you find a note?”

“No, but I did find something interesting in all the papers scattered around.  This one is readable.  It says ‘Eddie and I were discussing all the horrible ways we might die.  We went through them all—drowning, fire, disease.   Then I said, “I’ll be ready when I get all these words out of me.’’”

“That pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?” said the ME.

“Yeah, that and those black things all over.  Just like the last case.”

The ME bent over and picked up one of the black objects and placed it in a plastic bag.

“What is it?”

He turned the bag over until the object made sense:  “Lilliputian.”

I found “susurrant” and placed it in a bag.  “Think they’ll ever learn?”  I asked the ME.

“Doubt it.  These writers, they just don’t realize how dangerous it is to be so full of words that they can explode.  Why can’t they just get them all out and reduce the pressure?”

S/Inv. Jack O’Reilly, Badge 1473


  1. Absolutely hilarious! Sometimes Bill looks like he's gonna blow, thank God he can type fast enough to keep bleeding off the pressure!

  2. Now I'm scared. I recognize those lethal words.

  3. I thought at first a parrot might be involved

  4. there had better be a parrot involved... I told you--that bird is going on the long journey WITH you! I will put little bowls of seed and fruit in with ya