Some days it’s best not to get out of bed:
1.
I had to.
I’m doing the mail route this week.
It’s snowing. By late morning the sky is clearing and by
the time I finish the route, it’s a nice sunny day.
2.
I decide to wash the mud and dirt off the truck
because when I’m loading and unloading mail, I get dirty.
3.
I carry an exceptionally heavy hose from the
warm crawl space under the house and hook it up. It l furnishes only a trickle of water.
4.
Get another hose from the crawl space, a much
lighter hose even though it’s the same length.
5.
The alarm for the septic lift station starts
screaming. Shut the darn thing off and
check lift station. Everything looks
okay, except the liquid level is too high.
Pump isn’t working apparently.
6.
Check all pump and control breakers. Use a long weather-beaten pole to move
floats. Alarm screams. Shut the damn thing off. Pull mini-splinters from hands.
7.
Wash the truck.
It looks terrible.
8.
Wash the truck again, and wet wax it. Looks better.
9.
Deal with
the two hoses because it’s still freezing at night.
10.
Mess with
the lift station again. Call Dave to check
it.
11.
Think
about going litter picking.
12.
Decide I
better not leave the septic tank full just in case.
13.
Get gas
pump, suction hose, outlet hose.
14.
Pull cord
to start pump. It starts. Nine!
Shut it off.
15.
Try to
put suction hose into septic tank. It’s
too curly from being curled up in a bucket all winter.
Force it down into septic tank with long pole. Pull more mini-splinters from hands.
16.
Start
pump. Easy-peasy. Shut it off.
Very nice.
17.
Hook
outlet hose to pump and drag other end to leach field inspection tube. Insert.
18.
Prime
pump and hook up suction hose. Won’t suck.
19.
Remember
that pump will not pull suction if hose is too deep.
20.
Get a
large bucket of water.
21.
I will
put suction end in clean water until it pulls, turn off valve for outlet and
hope suction holds long enough to lower
suction hose into tank.
22.
Figure
out how to get curly suction hose into tank:
Zip tie suction hose to end of long pole.
23.
Get a zip
tie from glove compartment of truck.
24.
Glove
compartment of truck won’t close because it’s too full. Move things around and close.
25.
Get
things set up to zip tie hose to pole. Can’t
find the zip tie.
26.
Go back
to truck and get another zip tie. Glove
box won’t close.
27.
Empty
some things out and close it.
28.
Zip tie
suction hose to long pole. Everything’s
ready. Pull more mini-splinters.
29.
Pump won’t
start.
30.
Say a
bunch of really, really bad words and go in house. I’m getting too old for this crap.