Alder-Bashing for Litter

“Did you plan that rest?” asked Mary Mcdonald when she saw me sitting down in a thicket of alder branches.

“Not exactly,” I responded.   Apparently, she hadn’t seen the other three times the alders tripped me and put me to the ground.

Alders are wicked.  Huge branches grow outward and upward in a circle from a central root and they intertwine with their close neighboring alders. They are devilishly designed to foil the most agile human trying to climb through them in search of yet another beer can or diaper.   

Just a small part of the mess.

When Mary volunteered to help me clean up litter along the Seward Highway several years ago, I immediately declared myself aged out of alder bashing and assigned her the pullouts where alders grew.   She’s 20 years younger.

We give these pullouts a thorough cleaning every spring, all the way to the bottom of their slopes.   After the alders leaf out, we don’t go into them because we wouldn’t be able to see any bears attracted to the garbage.

Yesterday, after Mary cleaned up litter in the Mile 40 area of the Seward Highway, she joined me at Mile 50.5 pullout to clean up a gigantic litter mess.   It’s the first time we worked together, as we usually take different areas.

Mary took the alders growing on the downslope.   That slope goes down 50 to 60 feet.   I cleaned up the paved parking area and the horizontal areas beyond the guard rail.  

Then, I ventured down the slope, and, because one beer can leads to another beer can, I soon found myself in the damned alders where I took the unplanned rests on the ground.  These are not falls, but a slow sinking to the ground when footing failed and branches don’t hold me as I’d hoped.

The verticle trees are cottonwoods, and the crazy tangled branches are alders.

More than six woman-hours were put into the effort and when done, we had filled nine litter bags.   The main part of the litter was a number of burst-open garbage bags that once contained numerous diapers, wipes, and tampons.  Some of the empty bags were hanging from the alder trees.   And the diapers were heavy after being exposed to wet weather.

I have no idea why this pile of road sand is here.   It had litter mixed in it, and the center is still frozen.

Mary found four pizza boxes and I found another.   There was the usual assortment of beverage cans and bottles, assorted wrappers and papers.   I even found a cat bed.  

All cleaned up.

Mary had the biggest find:   a brand-new computer still in its original, unopened packing, along with a surge protector, a printer (I think), and other tech items.   She hauled them uphill out of the maddening alders.  Later, she called the state troopers and reported finding them.  We probably will never know the story behind them.