"I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose."--S.I. Hayakawa

Friday, May 13, 2011

Caution! Hard Hats Required

I tell you, you take your life in your hands just walking out of my house these days.  You better dress up in your best body armor and wear a hard hat if you want to make it back inside unscathed.

Oh, it isn't because of the bears that are out of hibernation, hungry and with an attitude, and wandering around the lower parts of the mountain.

Sorry about the fuzzies in this pix.

Nor is it because of the wolves that were howling and sauntering down the runway behind my house the other morning.

A wolf's teeth.  You don't want to see the rest of the picture--it's a carcass I found a couple days ago.  Yes, it has a mouthful of hair and the jaws are clamped so tightly I couldn't pull the hair out.

Not even the moose, now in the process of dropping and protecting new calves.

You needn't worry about a moose crunching on you with these choppers.  The front feet are what you need to avoid.

Or even those long-eared snowshoe hares that are scampering around and acting all hare-brained.

No, what you have to watch out for these days is those little heat-seeking guided missiles zipping around the yard at supersonic speeds.  The violet-green swallows have only one thing on their minds, and it isn't avoiding collisions with you.

All they want to do is what results in these:

And they aren't paying attention to anything else.

(No, things aren't this green here yet.  All the photos except for the wolf teeth and moose teeth are from prior years.)


  1. Makes my snakes, spiders and raccoons (in the bird feeder) seem pretty tame. I don't see the wolf picture.

  2. There's nothing that will cause me harm in my backyard except for myself.

    Let me explain: We planted flowers under the fort our son used to play in. (We can't bring ourselves to take it down even though Jared's long gone from our home and 32 years old).

    While I was planting and afterwards watering the vincas, I almost knocked myself when I stood up straight and hit my head on the underside of the fort. Gosh, I hope I don't do that again!!

    It must be alarming to have those purpose driven flyers claiming the right of way in your yard!! Per- haps they'll settle down when they achieve their goal!!??

  3. Me again. Correction to above comment. "I almost knocked myself OUT when I stood..."

    I've hit my head three times now. I think the last was the charm. (My head's still tender).