"I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose."--S.I. Hayakawa
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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Good April Hunting

The calendar says it’s mid-April,




So spring should be just ahead.




I’m trying to change the season,


springtime thoughts are in my head.








Draft stoppers are out of the windows,





flannel sheets are off of the bed,






and I stored the shovel and snow scoop





in my nearly empty woodshed.







Frost heaves are quickly sprouting,





and daylight hours are long.


Out on the steps of the deck,





the snowdrift is almost gone.






So why did it snow today,





as well as yesterday,




and the day before that and t’other,





if spring is on the way?






The bottom fell out of my driveway,



there’s a moat around my abode,




and I have to use the four-wheel-drive



if I want to get to the road.



Studded tires are still on the truck,







clicking on pavement dry and gray.


It's the law they have to be off




by the very first day of May.




Fifty dollars per tire

is the fine I’ll have to pay,

but I still need those tires

to get out of my own driveway.



Maybe I’ll write to Al Gore,




ask him to help with my fine,



‘cause I’m sure it’s his global warming




that’s making me snivel and whine.







What is it about spring that brings out the doggerel in me? Could it be that spring is Iambic pentameter? Not that I'm saying I wrote that in Iambic pentameter, you know. I mean, doggerel doesn't really count.


Anyway, here it is en toto, without photographic or commercial interruption:


Good April Hunting



The calendar says it’s mid-April,

So spring should be just ahead.

I’m trying to change the season,

springtime thoughts are in my head.


Draft stoppers are out of the windows,

flannel sheets are off of the bed,

and I stored the shovel and snow scoop

in my nearly empty woodshed.


Frost heaves are quickly growing,

and daylight hours are long.

Out on the steps of the deck,

the snowdrift is almost gone.


So why did it snow today,

as well as yesterday,

and the day before that and t’other,

if spring is on the way?


The bottom fell out of my driveway,

there’s a moat around my abode.

And I have to use the four-wheel-drive

if I want to get to the road.


Studded tires are still on the truck,

clicking on pavement dry and gray.

It's the law they have to be off

by the very first day of May.


Fifty dollars per tire

is the fine I’ll have to pay,

but I still need those tires

to get out of my own driveway.


Maybe I’ll write to Al Gore,

ask him to help with my fine,

‘cause I’m sure it’s his global warming

that’s making me snivel and whine.


4 comments:

  1. I'm laughing myself right out of my chair. I find only one problem with the possible solution to your impending financial burden: You will probably get a note back from Mr. Gore reminding you that he has changed the lingo from Global Warming to Climate Change as the catch all for any possible weather event to happen from now to eternity. (Ice age included)

    I hope you thaw out soon, although I do like the effect your long winter is having on your writing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hang in there, girlfriend. I promise the snow will be gone someday...

    You're welcome!

    ReplyDelete
  3. P.S. I love your photo and doggerel presentation!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You offered us a place last summer -- turnabout's fair play. Come see us on the Florida Gulf Coast, were Spring really has sprung.

    ReplyDelete