"I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose."--S.I. Hayakawa
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Showing posts with label Ann Linquist writing prompt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ann Linquist writing prompt. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Rest Stop

We're going to pull over on the side of the road on our way to Fairbanks and take a little break.  Writer and online writing instructor Ann Linquist piqued my muse when she posted her latest prompt for her former students to play with.

The Prompt:



It was a dark and stormy night.  Ann had been up late working as was her habit.  But she’d never come to bed.  At 3:30 a.m., her husband climbed the long steps to her study in the silo, but oddly she was not at her desk. All he found was the regular shifting of pictures on her screen saver and a half empty glass of tea.  When he clicked the mouse, he saw the page she’d been reading—some postings on her blog.  Her ear phones lay on the floor.  Everything else looked normal except for the double-hung window in the bathroom.  It had never, to his knowledge, been opened.  Now cold air swarmed through the bottom half.  He peered down into the yard below.  Even with the full moon, there was nothing to see but untrammeled snow.  John pulled his cell phone from his bathrobe pocket and called 911.





 And, what my muse came up with at 2 A.M., which is her favorite time for me to take dictation from her.  This was, for me, an exercise in advancing a story through dialogue alone.


“So, John. It is John, isn’t it?” said Mike Steele of the Piedmont County Police Department to the man in the green terrycloth bathrobe. “You say your wife is missing?”

“Yes, yes. I’m John. My wife Ann never came to bed last night and when I came up to check on her, there was no one here. I mean, she’s just gone. In the wind. No trace. So I called 911.”

“Uh-huh. And what phone did you use, John?”

“My cell—my iPhone. I have it right here in my pocket.”

“You always carry your cell phone in your bathrobe pocket, John?”

“Well…. I… Uh… No, not usually. For some reason when I saw my wife wasn’t in bed with me, I grabbed my phone. I don’t know–call it a premonition that something wasn’t right and I might need to call for help.”

“Uh-huh. So, John, do you mind if I call you John? Okay, so, John, when you called 911, you told the dispatcher your wife Martha was missing. Now you say her name is Ann. So, which is it, John? Martha or Ann?”

“It’s Mar… No, I mean it’s Ann.”

“You seem a little confused, John. Ann or Martha, Martha or Ann? Or maybe you have two wives. Are you a bigamist, John? Maybe one of those Mormon guys who gets to have all those wives? Not that I’d blame you, John. You dog, you.”

“NO! My god, man! My wife’s name is Ann. I have only one wife and her name is Ann.”

“Who’s Martha?”

“Martha is a fictional character that my wife—ANN!—uses in her writing lessons. She isn’t real.”

Steele fixed John with one of his namesake laser stares. “Which one isn’t real, John? Ann or Martha?”

“Martha. Martha isn’t real.”

“Look, John. Is it possible that neither of them is real?”

“What? No. No, of course not. Ann is real. Ann is my wife. She’s a writing instructor and she works late up here every night.”

“You make your wife work in this refrigerator? It must be 40 degrees in here, John. What kind of a man makes his wife work in this cold? You feel a little animosity towards your wife? Wives?”

“No. What? What are you trying to do? Of course I don’t MAKE her work up here. It’s her choice. And the only reason it’s cold is because the bathroom window is open and letting in all the cold air. That’s what I told the 911 person. That window has never been open before. I could never get it to budge. Now I can’t get it shut.”

“Why did you try to shut it, John? Want to make sure your fingerprints were on it in case the crime scene techs found them anyways?”

“No! I don’t understand why you’re treating me like a suspect. You should be trying to find my wife.”

“Which one, John?”

“Ann! Ann, of course. My only wife. She’s gone.”

“Uh-huh. And you don’t have any idea where she is or how she disappeared from here. We must be, what? Thirty feet off the ground up here? No sign of disturbance in the snow below the window. One car in the driveway. Your wife have a car, John?”

“No, we both work from home. Whenever she needs to go somewhere, we go together. No need for two cars.”

“Uh-huh. No car, no sign of a disturbance either up here or down there, and you can’t keep her name straight. We seem to have a problem here, John. See what I mean?”

“No, Officer, I don’t see what your mean.”

“Detective.”

“What?”

“It’s Detective Steele. Not officer.”

“Sorry.”

“Like I said, we have a problem here. You said you would have heard her if she’d left through the downstairs. That leaves an open bathroom window that’s never been opened before as the only way out. Yet, that snow down there is as pure as my 17-year-old daugh… Never mind. Bad allegory.”

“Analogy.”

“Analogy? What’s that? A third wife? You now have three wives, John?”

“No, it’s an analogy, not an allegory.”

“You’ve got a bit of a smart mouth on you, John. You trying to start trouble here, maybe change the subject from how your wife disappeared?”

“No. Wait. I’m sorry. You said your daughter was as pure as …”

“Don’t talk about my daughter, wise guy. You leave my kid outta this or I’ll run you in so fast all that snow out there will melt.  Ahhh… That what you want, John? Maybe we’ll find a body down there, huh?  Get us off the property so we won’t find any incriminating evidence?  Think you’re a smart guy, huh, outwit the cops? You got any pigs, John?”

“Pigs??? No, we don’t have pigs. Why are you asking about pigs?”

“Maybe you tried to dispose of her body, you know. To the pigs.”

“Good Lord, man! I didn’t kill my wife. We don’t have pigs. What are you doing to me?”

“Wait a minute. I remember you. Weren’t you involved in that bus incident a few winters ago.? Yeah, yeah. I remember now. You and your ex-wife….. Martha, yeah, Martha. So, whatever became of Martha, anyway, John?”

“Detective, Martha is a fictional character. Fictional. She doesn’t exist in real life. Get it?”

“Don’t get wise with me, John. I’m just trying to get the facts. Nothing but the facts.”

Right about then is when John made a mad run for the bathroom window and launched himself out in a perfect swan dive.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Tickling the Muse, Part Two

George spoke in the previous post, a response to a writing prompt from Ann Linquist.


Today, Dorothy speaks:



Dorothy Says:

Lordy, there he sits like a bump on a log.  He never gets out of that recliner except to go to work (if he can call it work) and to go to Al and Jean’s on Sunday after I get home from church.  He wouldn’t even go then except he likes to talk to Al about football.

Jean and I long ago made them go outside to talk football.   We got so tired of hearing about it.  He thinks we talk Antiques Roadshow when we’re really discussing our marriages.  Jean and Al have been working on rekindling theirs.  This trip to London is a second honeymoon.  I didn’t tell George beforehand because I thought it might wake him up.  Thank goodness Dannie was home. 

I see him giving me the fish eye when I wear my green sweat pants.  He hasn’t even noticed that I’ve lost 35 pounds and they hang on me now.

Lordy, I am so tired of tuna salad on toast and tomato soup.  Years ago I’d ask him every Sunday what he’d like, and it was always the same.  Except, he wanted the sandwich fried in butter, and he’s overweight enough.  A couple times I’ve had to help him get out of that recliner.

He has no ambition at all.  No sense of adventure.  How did this happen?  When he was in his twenties, he was so full of ideas and plans.  I guess my dad giving him a salesman’s job was a mistake.  Thirty years later, he’s still there.  All he does is sit in his office and play games on the computer.

What a blessing little Dannie is.  Without her encouragement I never would have decided to leave boring George and strike out on my own.

“Dorthy?”

“Yes, George?  More soup?”

“No.  Thanks.  I was thinking.  What are we going to do when I retire?  Got any dreams?  A bucket list?”

“Actually, George, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that.  Guess now’s as good a time as any.  I’m going to San Francisco with Dannie.  We leave Wednesday.  I think it’s time I found out what life is all about.  You’ll be making your own tuna on toast after tonight, George.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate tuna on toast and tomato soup?”

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Tickling the Muse

The writing prompt from Ann Linquist:

You, a mid-50-ish man with a boring marriage and a tedious, though well-paying, job like to visit your friends, Al and Jean on Sunday mornings  for coffee and time to blow off steam (mostly with Al).  When you arrive on this day in late September, however, you realize they are vacationing in England.  Their daughter, Dannie, is home from college.  She makes coffee for you, and admits that she has quit her sophomore year and is planning to run away to San Francisco to “figure out what life is all about.”

This story is not about Dannie; it is about you (the narrator).  You’re the writer of this story.  How does your narrator react?  What kind of advice does he give her, this young daughter of his best friends?  How does this event affect his life, if at all?


And, what happened when the Muse got me out of bed at 1:30 AM:

Part One
George Speaks 


Same old, same old.  Every Sunday.  Al and Jean.  Dorothy and me.  Coffee, store-bought cookies.  When did women quit baking real cookies anyway?  Hate those store-bought cookies.  Leave a greasy feeling in my mouth.

I was hoping Al and I could escape to the back yard and talk football.  Leave the women in the kitchen with their store-bought cookies and Antiques Roadshow.  As if they’d ever find anything of value in our attic.  Don’t think either one of them has been up there in a decade or so.  Guess I haven’t either.

Not the way it happened today, though.  Al and Jean took off to London for the Olympics.  Never said a word to us about it and we see them every Sunday.  Every. Single. Sunday.  The Olympics, for Gawd’s sakes.  Who’d wanna fight the crowds and the rain in London?  ‘Sides, you can see ‘em better on TV.

Anyhows, this kid of theirs, this Dannie—I call her Dreadlock Dannie--invites us in and serves organic raspberry-peach iced tea instead of coffee.  And gluten-free cookies.  Say her folks don’t know yet she quit the U half way through her sophomore year.  Man, old Al is gonna have a shit-fit over that, I’ll tell you.  All the bucks he put into that girl and she up and quits and heads out for San Fran, the land of fruits and nuts.

Gonna find herself, she says.  Find out what life is all about. 

Dorothy gave her a high five!  I mean, talk about irresponsible.   And Dorothy?  A high five?  Didn’t even know she knew what such a thing was.   Damn.  All she does is watch that antiques thing and Storage Wars on A&E.  Wouldn’t let me watch Chopped even if I wanted to.

Here she comes.  Dressed in those damned green sweat pants.  I remember way back when she’d put on this sexy little black sheath and ask me if it made her look fat.  Fat?  Man, I wanted to take it right off her when she wore it.  Sexy little number, she was.  Now she looks like the Jolly Green Giant, you ask me.

Yep.  Sunday night, right on schedule.  Tuna fish salad on toast and a cup of tomato soup.  Every. Sunday. Night.  Not even grilled.  On toast.  Says the grilling makes me fat. 

Ter.  Fat-ter.  Yeah, fatter.  Guess I ain’t one to talk much.  Picked up a few extra pounds myself along the way.  Losing some hair on top.  Male pattern baldness, they say.  Maybe I should see about using that hair regrowing stuff.  Maybe get a gym membership. 

Starry-eyed kid, heading out to San Francisco.  Been listening to too much Tony Bennett.  Hah!  Wonder if she even knows who Tony Bennett is?  Hmmph.  Kinda reminds me of me.  Full of hope and piss and vinegar.    Now I’m just full of piss.

Oughta see a sawbones about this prostate of mine.  Haven’t slept through the night for years.  Gotta pee all the time.

Hell, who am I kidding?  I could join that AARP now, ‘cept I don’t like their politics. 

Oh, my gawd.  Not synchronized swimming.  Please say it aint’ so.  Can’t we watch track and field, for a change?

Little twit Dannie gonna go to San Fran to find herself.  Well, she’s in for a surprise when she finds out what life is all about.  Kick in the pants?  Nope.  Kick in the teeth, more like it.

She’ll get herself married, have a passel of kids, food stamps, family vacations in Disneyland.  If you can afford it.  Last vacation Dorothy and I took was to the Corn Palace, for Gawd’s sakes.  Mitchell, South Dakota.  Building all covered in corn and grain.  On the outside.

Old lady’s fifth cousin or something designed it that year.  Okay, it was kind of impressive, decorating the whole outside with a different design every year.  Makes you wonder why the birds don’t eat it all.

(sigh)

Oh, good, men’s swimming.  Oops, Phelps blew that one.  You’re getting old, kid.  Can’t cut the mustard anymore.  Over the hill at 27.

Twenty-seven.  Remember when I was 27.  Had the world by the tail.  Just got this cool job at Hickman’s Chevrolet.  Sold cars back in the day when you could tell ‘em apart.  Good money, all these years.  Can’t complain.  Made me sales manager. Yeah, Dorothy’s dad did me good on that.  Now I sit in a cubicle and talk football with the salesmen while they let their customers think they’re fighting for a lower price.  Ten years, I can retire and….

And what?  Got enough money saved to be okay.  Barring a crisis.  Cancer.  Alzheimer’s.  Something like that.  But what will I do every day?  Coffee with Al and Jean every Sunday.  Tuna fish and tomato soup that night.  Motor home?  Drive a big ol’ land yacht to Alaska, maybe? 

“Find out what life is all about…”  I shoulda told her.  Shoulda told her you start out with the world by the tail even if it’s tuna fish and tomato soup every night.  Then all of a sudden, life’s playing crack the whip and you’re still holding onto that tail.  Not a good place to be.

“Dorothy?”

“Yes, George?  More soup?”

“No.  Thanks.  I was thinking.  What are we going to do when I retire?  Got any dreams?  A bucket list?”

“Actually, George, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that.  Guess now’s as good a time as any.  I’m going to San Francisco with Dannie.  We leave Wednesday.  I think it’s time I found out what life is all about.  You’ll be making your own tuna on toast after tonight, George.  Have I ever mentioned how much I hate tuna on toast and tomato soup?”