"I'm going to speak my mind because I have nothing to lose."--S.I. Hayakawa

Saturday, August 24, 2013

All the advice Obama never asked for, all in one spot.

President Obama had yet another meeting today with all his advisors, hoping to come to a decision on what to do or not do regarding the situation in Syria.

I say he should ask the medical community for suggestions.   Here are my prognostications of what their responses would be.

Feel free to add your own prognostications in the comments section.

Surgeons will recommend an invasive strike.

Proctologists will recommend kicking the crap out of the Assad regime.

Psychiatrists will recommend shock and awe (electric shock treatments).

Dentists will recommend extracting all US personnel from the region.

Physical therapists will recommend a series of escalating military exercises designed to cause increasing pain.

Chiropractors will recommend manipulation, i.e., blockades, sanctions, etc.

Opthamologists will recommend a “wait and see” attitude.

General practitioners will recommend a total examination of the situation, with multiple tests.

Audiologists will recommend blasting heavy metal music 24/7 from aircraft, while dropping ear plugs to civilians.

Geneticists will recommend complete DNA testing, specifically to determine if Syrians carry a warfare gene.

Homeopathic practitioners will recommend all Syrians drink rosemary tea and just chill out.

(NOTE:   Sometimes black humor is the best way to cope with a horrid situation, especially when there is nothing I can do about it.)


  1. Veterinarians will recommend neuterinig Assad and putting a cone around his neck.

  2. Nice job, Gully. Everyone of prognostications are spot on. Speaking of spots, how about this:

    Dermatologists will recommend skinning the Assad regime members alive, preferably after the proctologists do their job.