My, what a big ----- you have!

(Expanded Version)

Ice rink.

As in, "My, what a big ice rink you have!"

The downpour of rain we had recently took away more than half our ground cover of snow. That ground cover does amazing things, like insulate our buried water and sewer pipes, keeping both from freezing. The snow provides warmth and safety for the many grouse and ptarmigan in this area. They nestle into it where, I've read, they can find a comfortable 20 degree environment. I don't know if I believe that, but I'm sure not going to go nestle in a snowbank with a thermometer. I'll just believe it's got to be warmer than being fully exposed to the night air.

The snow also banks up against the foundation of our houses and provides insulation. Ditto with the roof.

When it rains, the highway guys spread copious amounts of sand fortified with calcium chloride (or whatever they're using these days) on the asphalt. I walked out to the end of the driveway get my newspaper one rainy day and saw a spruce grouse happily pecking at the grains of sand.

And the snow (need I remind?) provides what we need to enjoy winter--skiing and snowmobiling.

The rain, however, can be dismal and disappointing. Sure, we don't have to shovel it, but it also saturates the snow on the roof, increasing the weight until we just might have to shovel the roof to keep it from collapsing.

It turns our driveways and city sidewalks into ice rinks, and we have to strap ice cleats to our boots to avoid concussions and broken extremities.

On the other hand, it floods the nearby lakes. And when the cold returns, transforms those lakes into gigantic ice rinks.


On my drive to Seward Tuesday I saw that Kenai Lake was frozen. That isn't something that happens very often. The lake is huge and subject to many currents and winds that keep the surface too disturbed to freeze, but it's happened.

I stopped to take a photo and noticed something on the shoreline.


This is but a wee part of Kenai Lake. There's a large portion to the left in this picture, and a much, much greater expanse that wraps behind the mountains on the right all the way to Cooper Landing, which by highway miles is more than twenty miles away. At the mouth of Kenai Lake in Cooper Landing is where I take the swan pictures in winter.














Thursday, I went to post office in Moose Pass. I looked down over the road shoulder as I drove along Trail Lake, and sure enough, the skaters were out.

Trail Lake is a large "Y"-shaped lake. It isn't anywhere near as large as Kenai Lake, but it isn't a little pond, either as you can see by the tiny skater.






Down around the corner, I spotted something else.


Ice fishermen, vehicles and all, parked on the lake.



Kenai Lake, Trail Lake, and Tern Lake are all smooth skating rinks now, thanks to Mother Nature's Zamboni rains.

Moose Pass has become something of an ice-skating community. The guys play hockey, and the women and little kids have a great time. All dogs welcome, as long as they mind their manners.

Be Careful What You Wish for...

You recognize that saying? Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

Right up front I want you to know I don’t claim to have any “in” with Mother Nature, nor hold any sway over her moods. Nonetheless, strange things do happen. Coincidental things, and I'm not a believer in coincidences.

When I gazed longingly at a thermometer that seemed forever unable to rise above zero, I sighed and said, “I could do with some temperatures in the high twenties,” then stuffed some more wood in the woodstove.

Well, a couple days later I got what I wanted. Twice. Once going up and once again on the way down. The temperature rose into those high twenties I'd wished for, but it kept going.

For six days Mother Nature dumped rainwater on us and sent Chinook battering rams against the side of my house.

I’m pretty sure she didn’t want to quit her tantrum when she did, but when the rainwater reservoir was depleted and the Chinooks had exhausted themselves trying to blow my house down, the temperature started down again.

And down. Now it’s right back between zero and ten above and I’m stuffing wood in the stove again.

But, the cold comes with clear skies and after not seeing sun for all those days, I discovered something I’ve been suspecting for a long time:

I’ll take a photo of darned near anything.

Beginning of a sunset at Trail Lake.

Fog over Turnagain Arm.

Fog and reflections in Turnagain Arm.

Female Dall sheep alongside the highway at Turnagain Arm.

Sunset colors from a parking lot in Anchorage.

Sunset along Turnagain Arm. See that bump on the horizon?

Here it is again. It's Mt. Redoubt, an active volcano on the far side of Cook Inlet.

Night skiing lights at Mt. Alyeska, Girdwood.

Early morning sunrise from my loft.

Earth Numbers

I think of myself as a reasonably conscientious steward of the earth and its denizens. I'm not radical about it, just--as I said--conscientious, while still being somewhat practical.

I have changed almost all the light bulbs in my house to CFLs. This and a couple other things have reduced my electrical consumption by about $20 a month, or something like 20 per cent.

Score a bunch of points for the earth.

While there are no curtains or draperies over any of my windows, I did purchase a pair of insulated drapes for the French doors. They're temporary, used only when it's really cold. The bedroom and loft windows have insulated blinds. All the windows in this house are double-paned with good energy ratings.

Score another point for the earth.



The windows that make up the front living room wall are called Heat Mirror windows. They are double-paned with two layers of a special film sandwiched between. They reflect heat back into the room, and even at temperatures far below zero, the glass on the inside is warm to the touch. And, while they were terribly expensive, according to the manufacturer I should now have recouped their cost in energy savings.

Another point for the earth.



The TV and its accessories in the living room are all plugged into a surge protector. When I'm finished watching TV, I turn off the breaker on the surge protector, thereby reducing the "idle time" electrical draws.

Yet another earth point.



And then there are my vehicles. This is my truck. It's a 2001 Dodge Dakota crew cab. I bought it used.




It's a very nice truck.

It gets 17 mpg. When I first bought it, this gauge indicated it was getting 15.9 mpg, so unless something is terrible wrong, my driving habits have improved its efficiency.

Point for earth.




This is my (very dirty) 2003 Toyota Sienna mini-van. I bought it used. It gets about 26 mpg, but is parked in the garage for the winter, with everything but comprehensive insurance suspended for the duration.



Now, I could drive it and save 10 mpg for the benefit of the earth, but I don't, and for two specific reasons:

1. The truck has four wheel drive. That's very good for Alaskan winters.

2. Should I be so unfortunate as to hit a moose on the highway, the truck would knock it down. The hood of the mini-van, on the other hand, would scoop up the poor animal and deposit it in my lap. In this case, safety wins over conservation. My neighbors, by the way, recently hit a moose that ran in front of them. Only their SUV was injured.

Minus one point for earth.

Minus one point for Gully's safety.

I burn wood to supplement the propane used by my heating system.

Earth point, but halved because of using trees.



This winter I am filling the back of the truck with wood and parking it in the garage. This keeps the wood dry, as opposed to my previous method of moving it from the woodshed to the front deck. Even though it was under a four-foot eave, wind-driven snow and rain could reach it, thereby negating the benefit of storing it in a woodshed in the first place. Keeping it dry means I burn less wood.

Half a point for earth restored.




I plan my infrequent shopping trips around how little wood is left in the truck.

This is the back seat in the truck, with the seats folded up, making room for groceries and stuff.


Very, very convenient.

Here is a large reusable Costco bag for filling with things I needed at Costco. Underneath that is an insulted bag for things that must be kept cool. There's an ice chest in the truck bed for frozen stuff.



Also in the back seat are reusable grocery bags.



Several of them.




Several earth points for reusable bags.


Yesterday I had to go to Anchorage. I had errands that took me to four different stores.

So, with all these conscientious , earth-friendly things in play, how many times did Gullible actually remember to take the darned bags into the stores?

All earth points negated.

Gully's score is in the tank, so far down it can't be measured.

A few days late, but...

(I received this in an e-mail. No indication of where the photo originated, otherwise I'd be happy to give credit.)

Walking in the Woods with Bill

I went for a walk in the woods today. My hiking companion Bill and I are hiking the Appalachian Trail. Today. And maybe tomorrow, too. Boy, this is something I’ve always wanted to do.

We’ve already been to the sporting goods store and gotten outfitted with a mountain of gear. Well, Bill got outfitted with gear. I already had what I need.

He has a $250 backpack, a sleeping bag, a tent, and a bunch of other stuff. He balked at paying $12 for a little orange trowel with which to bury his….uh, deposits. Me, I think I’ll just use the indoor facilities.

He’s also burdened with carrying all the weight up hill and down. I’m just going along for the stroll, to “be” in the moment.

While he sets up and strikes camp, I’ll just stretch out in my living room nest in front of the wood stove.

He’ll wake up to this: “The inside of my tent was coated with a curious, flaky rime, which I realized after a moment was all my nighttime snores, condensed and frozen and pasted to the fabric, as if into a scrapbook of respiratory memories.” Now that is some cool descriptive writing, and the pun is accidental but intended on second thought.

His water bottle froze. I got cold, fresh well water from the tap. He had to figure out his little stove to boil a cup of water. I filled my tea cup from that instant hot water thingy at my kitchen sink and enjoyed a mug of hot cocoa chai.

Considering the tempest Mother Nature is throwing at my house today (like a wrecking ball slamming into the east wall), I’m a fool to venture out at all. Another day of this and we won’t have any snow left at all. Unlike Bill. He’s up to his knees in snow. In Georgia. In March.

He got so sick of snow and rain, he skipped a part of the trail and sneaked around the snow to Virginia. Thing is, he was getting the heebee-jeebies big time when we were in Gatlinberg. You know--albino banjo picker, four city dudes on a river float trip, remote woods in Tennessee. Ring a bell?

When I could no longer sit still in the middle of the afternoon, I left him there and reorganized my pantry and storage shelves in the garage.

Done with that, and it’s time to rejoin Mr. Bryson in Virginia. I imagine by the time I turn out the light and fall asleep, we’ll be all the way into…. I don’t know, maybe Pennsylvania? This weather (40 degrees and raining and blowing) is supposed to last another day or two. Might as well keep Bill company.

He's a pretty good companion for a hike. Join him sometime. He carries all the gear. But a word to the wise: Bring your own coffee filters. He uses toilet paper instead.

Aeronautical Incident Report

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

The following report and recommendations are hereby submitted by this Inspection Board in response to an aeronautical incident involving damage to an aircraft. It is the finding of this board:

Pilot Pablo Parrot recently departed on an unplanned, ill-advised flight from his FBO site (fixed base operator) to an uncharted destination across the room. Even though this was uncontrolled air space, he also neglected to file a flight plan. We have reason to believe the aircraft’s weight and balance was improper, as anecdotal reports indicate the pilot had been consuming an unusual amount of peanuts in the time period immediately prior to his flight.

The pilot's log book and all other documentation appear to be in order. He claims he has been flying since he was very young, and further claims he can fly competently in any weather. The pilot is licensed for VFR (visual flight rules) only. The pilot has no instrument flight instruction noted in his log book. The pilot stated his aircraft's wings have not been modified for STOL (short take-off and landing) operation, but are OEM (original equipment manufacture).

FBO operators at both take-off and crash sites report CAVU (clear and visibility unlimited) conditions on the day of the incident. Weather reports in the vicinity of the crash indicate the winds were calm, thus no crabbing or sudden, violent movements were considered.

As a result of the peanut consumption, the aircraft’s flight level is assumed to have been incorrect. It should be noted that this particular model tends to be nose-heavy, and we are operating under the assumption that the peanut consumption may have placed undue stress on the forward portion of the landing gear. Further, the model is a monoplane with no vertical stabilizer.

Again, anecdotal reports from witnesses within hearing range of the crash indicate the pilot attempted to feather the prop immediately before impact.

In an attempt to execute an emergency landing when faced with a solid wall of books, he was unable to stick the landing and somersaulted to the floor. Fortunately his ELT (emergency locater transmitter) began blaring upon impact and his location became known to rescue personnel immediately.

As for the aircraft, with one exception, neither the fuselage, wings, nor any other control surfaces incurred any structural damage. The prop was not damaged. Primary damage was limited only to the tail feathers.

The pilot, however, is reported to have suffered severe internal injury to his dignity, which required substantial pampering and considerable therapy of the head-scratching type.

IN SUMMARY, This safety board hereby proposes the following recommendations:

RECOMMENDATION ONE:

Pilot should be allowed continued possession of his pilot’s license, but is advised to reassess his destination prior to future flights.

RECOMMENDATION TWO:

Take a load off, Pablo

Take a load off, please

Take a load off, Pablo

You got the load right on me.

Every New Year

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.--Benjamin Franklin