The McSerious Drama of McPolitics….
(WARNING: You are about to enter the Gullible Zone. The following contains echoes of “Gee, Officer Krupke” from the socially-conscious “West Side Story.” )
Sen. John McHero:
She wasn’t my first choice, or even my se-cond.
And so I went looking far out and beyond.
I fin-a-lly found her, a gun-totin’ mom,
When I introduced her, she was The Bomb!
She’s the Bomb, she’s the Bomb,
She’s the Last Frontier Bomb!
It’s moose hunting season, and I’ve got my gun,
But this time I’m aiming at Obama’s run.
Here is my fam-i-ly on stage, so you see,
I’m just like you, I’m no bourgeoisie!
I’m like you, I’m like you,
I’m like Last Frontier you!
Who is this now, come to stop history?
If I don’t win office, it’s ca-tas-tro-phe!
She’s only the mayor, of wee Wa-sill-y.
That’s not enough of a re-sum-a-ie.
They’re too right, they’re too right…
(Wait! Let me rephrase that… get these Greek columns outa my way.)
Dangerous Dan McFagan:
She a-bused her powers, leaned on Walt Monegan.
No matter that Wooten had Tasered his son.
She needs to learn that she must minister
to only my views, ‘cause I’m on Dennis Miller!
She’s too left, she’s too left,
She’s too Last Frontier left!
Oh, Dangerous Dan, you don’t like what she’s done
She’s given “free money” to everyone.
But you’re keeping yours in spite of your pain.
I’m sorry, my friend, your excuses are lame!
You’re so lame, you’re so lame,
You’re so Last Frontier lame!
Dear liberal media, we’ve been ignored far too long,
We do love your spotlights when you interview us.
Forget about bridges and earmarks and pork.
It wasn’t our fault we elected those crooks.
Talk to me, talk to me!
Talk to Last Frontier me!
He won’t talk to me, though I’ve asked him for weeks.
Now he flip-flopped on that so his mind he could speak.
He insisted that Fox run our long interview
while McHero was speaking! What a hullabaloo!
I say boo, I say boo,
I say hullabaloo!
How dare they play tribute to September Eleven!
It was too long ago… When was it again?
I’m keeping my job ‘cause I know the rules.
I started in sports—see, I said I’m no fool!
I’m no fool, I’m no fool,
I’m no MCBNS....er, NBSMC…er, MNCSB.. (off mike: psst! Cue the station ID!)…
I meant to send it to my sister-in-law,
Not ev’ry John, Dick, and Harry and Paul.
I said things about her, I swear they’re all true,
When I clicked “send,” well, I hadn’t a clue.
Give it back, give it back,
(Did you read the third ‘graph?)
With fuel prices soaring, and winter in sight,
McSarah is acting to save us in our plight.
She’s giving us money, tho’ McDan says it’s “free.”
But, have YOUseen the prices of HDTV?
They’re not free, they’re not free,
They’re not Last Frontier free!
Gee, Governor Palin, do you know what you’ve done?
You’ve gone off and left us and now we’re overrun.
All these reporters with their cameras and mikes
Are lookin’ at us like we’re some kinda mice!
It’s a mess, it’s a mess,
It’s a Last Frontier mess!
First I lean to the left, then I lean to the right,
after I hear ev-er-y blatherskite.
The fun to be had in these politics, evaded me long a-go in my youth.
If I had known all the fodder they feed, I’d have paid more attention and written more spoofs!
It’s a spoof, it’s a spoof.
It’s a Gullible spoof!
(and it isn’t the end either)